It was warm and sticky and the stench was overwhelming.  I had vomited over and over until there was nothing left to come up. The complete and total darkness and constant slow, methodical movement was almost more than I could bear, but I had no choice.  It was very cramped and I was lying on something that moved occasionally, my exposed skin was burning.  I was very frightened and unsure of what was next, but I knew I couldn’t complain, I was still alive.  I deserved everything that was happening to me, but I was praying for rescue anyway.  Was this the way I was going to die?  What a horrible thing to happen to me.  I should have never stood against the will of God.  I was surely being punished, but why didn’t he just let me die in the sea?  There was nothing to do lying there in the dark but ponder how I got into this situation in the first place.          

This had all started when the word of the LORD came to me in my sleep, "Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me." (Jonah 1:2).  The presence of God was powerful and overwhelming to a point where it was almost too much to take, even as I was partially asleep.  I had been spoken to before by Him, but this was a message that was being ingrained in my head.  I awoke panting and covered with perspiration.  I was filled with many different emotions.  The feeling of tremendous honor that came with being chosen and spoken to by God almighty!  The incredible amount of responsibility that was mounted on me, but also a feeling of selfishness.  I sat there trembling, contemplating what had just been revealed to me.  I would have gladly gone anywhere the LORD wanted me to go, but I did not want to go there!  Not to that huge and wicked city full of sinners.  The thought of going there not only terrified me, but I didn’t think the people there deserved being put on notice.  God wanted me to warn them of the consequences for their actions.  Nineveh, the ‘city of blood’, an evil city full of death and corruption.  The more I thought about it, the more I didn’t want to preach this message to them.  I wanted to see them fall, not have the chance to redeem themselves!  And what would they do to a person like me anyway?  Surely they would attack and kill me, or lock me away.  What chance would I have, going into this massive city and scolding these pagan Gentiles for their everyday actions?

After some time, I had convinced myself I would not do this thing that the LORD had requested.  But how would I get out of it?  Surely he could read my thoughts.  I didn’t care at this point, I was frightened and confused.  All I could think of was getting out of my house and running away somewhere, somewhere far off.  Maybe I really could run away from the LORD, or maybe he would just give up on me and call on someone else.  I packed a few things in a small bag and headed off.  I was very determined and sure of myself now. I would head not toward the East, but to the West,  I would go as far in the opposite direction of Nineveh as I could.  Yes, I would go to the city of Tarshish.  I knew very little about it, except that it was suppose to be almost to the end of the earth. I would go there and start my life over again, anew. My journey would have to be by sea, so I headed down to the seacoast town of Joppa to board a ship. 

After waiting for what seemed like days, I paid the fare and boarded a small boat that would take me out to the waiting ship just outside of the harbor. My escape was on!  After boarding the ship, I stood on the deck of the small vessel feeling pretty good about things.  A fresh start would be good for me. The LORD would find someone else to deliver his message; things were going to be alright.  The ship was moving now, the sailors had raised the large square sail and there was just enough of a breeze that they didn’t have to row. The weather was nice, a good day for traveling by sea.  After some friendly conversation with a few of the men on board, the gentle rocking motion of the ship started to make me drowsy.  I went below deck to my small quarters and laid down on the bunk, it had been a long day. I was a little anxious about going to sleep, but soon drifted off. 

I was awakened from a deep sleep by a frantic man, who apparently was the captain of the ship. He was holding on to the side of my bunk with one hand and shaking me with the other. The ship was pitching violently, and cargo was rolling back and forth across the floor.  There were some men standing behind him.   He said, "How can you sleep?  Get up and call on your god!  Maybe he will take notice of us, and we will not perish." (Jonah 1:6).  I wasn’t sure why he was saying that, but shaking off sleep, I got up and staggered to the ladder that went up to the deck.  I climbed up it and stuck my head through the hatch; it was a violent storm that had come out of nowhere.  It was pouring rain and the wind and waves were tossing the small ship around like it was a toy.  The men topside were struggling with the sail and ropes, they couldn’t even stand.  Some of them were throwing things overboard in an attempt to lighten the ship I figured.  I heard cries as some of the men were calling out and praying to their gods on bended knees.  I was drenched in just a matter of minutes, so I climbed back down and closed the hatch.  When I got to the bottom of the ladder, I turned and there were four or five sailors standing there staring at me.  They looked angry and scared.  The one that had awakened me said, "Tell us, who is responsible for making all this trouble for us?  What do you do?  Where do you come from?  What is your country?  From what people are you?" (Jonah 1:8).  Apparently they had come to the decision that I was to blame.  I answered "I am a Hebrew and I worship the LORD, the God of heaven, who made the sea and the land." (Jonah 1:9).  I could see from their reaction that this frightened them very much.  I was frightened too because I was beginning to realize what was going on here.  I had been found, I was sure of it.  I had almost been expecting it.

         The men demanded to know what I had done to provoke my god.  I explained that I was running from him and did not want to do his will.  Just then the ship pitched violently and knocked several of them down; I heard a loud crack topside. Some of the candles blew out, and then one of the men began to scream.  The captain then put his face in mine and said "What should we do to you to make the sea calm down for us?"  (Jonah 1:11).

          I told him to throw me overboard and the sea would calm down.  Oh my God!  I couldn’t believe what I just heard myself say.  But these men shouldn’t be made to suffer or die because of me and this old ship wasn’t going to last much longer.  The captain shook his head, “no, I can’t do that!”  He stumbled over to the ladder, turned to his men and yelled “come on!”  They all went topside again and I followed them up the ladder. The captain made the men take their positions to start rowing. They were falling down, and sliding. The rain was worse and every time the ship would rock to one side or the other, it seemed to get closer and closer to the raging sea. Huge waves were crashing into the side of it, causing the salty spray to slap the men in the face. They were frantically rowing, but it was no use, they could barely even sit on their benches. The captain was screaming something at them, but I couldn’t hear him over the wind and thunder. The lightning was blinding, the worst I had ever seen.  A shudder went through my body.  I couldn’t just stand there and watch any longer.  I climbed the rest of the way up and out of the lower compartment. I fell down immediately and slid all the way over to the other side of the deck and slammed into the wooden ledge.  Pain shot through my arm and I looked down to see the water on the deck begin to turn red.

I was lying at the feet of the captain.  I looked up and pleaded with him "Pick me up and throw me into the sea!" (Jonah 1:12).  The captain looked away, squinting from the spray, then turned and nodded to one of the men that were close by.  The sailor threw his paddle aside and quickly staggered over to me as if to say “finally!”  I’ll gladly do it!”  Then I heard the captain say in a loud, disturbed voice, "O LORD, please do not let us die for taking this man's life.  Do not hold us accountable for killing an innocent man, for you, O LORD, have done as you pleased." (Jonah 1:14).  The sailor was huge and swept me up with ease over his shoulder and stumbled to the edge of the ship. The ship was rocking to that side as one of his buddies grabbed my legs.  As the two of them held me up I watched the choppy sea come up at us as the ship was almost on its side.  They lifted me up and over the railing and I looked at the big man, but he would not look at me.  They let go and I felt myself fall through the rain.  I hit the rough sea with a slap and cold swept through my body.  My breath was gone as I was pulled under the waves with force, the salty water burned my eyes and I swallowed some.  Then silence, I knew this was the end; God was bringing me home for further punishment.  My head bobbed back up out of the water and into the storm. Another huge wave hit me in the face and I was pulled under the cold turbulent sea again.  I started sinking further and further, I could feel the pressure in my ears increasing.  It was very cold and dark, but silent, almost peaceful.  I knew I was about to experience death, this made me frantically try to paddle with my hands and feet, but I was getting nowhere.  As I was kicking, something bumped into me from underneath, suddenly I felt warmth all around me; I was terrified…   

I awoke in the dark place where I have been ever since.  I had to be inside of some kind of sea creature. The LORD must have been so angry; he decided to have me killed in some horrible way.  Or did he just save me from the deep?  There was no way to tell how long I had been in here.  I must have been slowly dying though, I felt horrible and I was tired, hungry and scared.  All that was left to do was pray.  I prayed for salvation and for forgiveness.  I told the LORD that I would be thankful to him and sacrifice to him.  I prayed for release from this creature, I vowed to make good on my promises.  I had been fading in and out of consciousness, and whenever I was awake, I prayed. Then I began to beg for death. I did not want to go on living in the belly of a fish any longer.  Besides being a horrible way to die, this was degrading to me as a man.  I was swallowed by a big fish and died in it’s belly.  I had accepted my punishment and now just wanted it all to end.  

Now, after what must have been days, I was awakened by a sudden lurch and a rush of cold salty water. I was in shock, and was being drawn out from the creature!  After being briefly submerged, I was able to extend my arms and legs and was now in just inches of water. Raising myself up on my hands and knees, I slowly opened my eyes.  I was outside!  I had to squint; it was a warm and sunny day. As my eyes slowly got accustomed to the light, I realized I was on land.  I was alive!  I had been spared death!  I was weak, but had a sudden feeling of excitement.  I would rejoice and praise the LORD!  During my jubilation I heard a splash behind me and turned to look just in time to see a large tail fin disappear into the calm waters of the sea.  

It had now been several days since my horrible experience at sea.  I made it back to my home and had been very weak, but was gaining my strength back.  I had been praying anxiously day and night ever since.  I understood what had transpired; I had been taught a lesson. I had been given a duty by the LORD, and I was to perform that duty whether I agreed with it or not.  The great fish had been a vehicle for me as well as my salvation from the sea.  I should have never tried to run away. I hoped I was being given a second chance and continued to pray for His forgiveness.  The day finally came, the word of the LORD came to me a second time, "Go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim to it the message I give you." (Jonan 3:2).

The next morning, without hesitation, I began my journey to the city. I still did not want to preach to those people, but I would do what I had been told.  Now Nineveh was a massive city on the Tigris River, and it was said to actually be three cities joined together by walls. It was so big that a visit would require three days. There were thousands of people living there and they basically had no morals. They were evil and did as they pleased. They were sinful and worshipped idols. I thought about this as I was making the journey on foot, across the hot sandy desert. As I was getting close, I saw in the distance a wall that was wrapped around the city like a huge snake. I got more and more anxious as I approached it. I entered through the huge stone archway. There were many people walking around; some of them looking me over, it was as if they knew me to be a visitor. As I proceeded I saw a large stone statue of their pagan god, Dagon, the fish-god. My stomach began to turn. It was some kind of half-man and half-fish.  ‘This was going to be an uphill climb’, I thought to myself. 

After getting some water to cool me down, I decided to start there next to the statue and work my way around the entire city. No matter how good or bad I preached, surely it would be good enough to please God. After all, I did make the journey here and I was putting my life on the line. Climbing up on a large stone near the fish-god I began my preaching. I began by telling the people standing around that I was a messenger from God Almighty, the one and only God. I told them that I had been delivered by a great fish to give them this message. (I knew they must have been interested in sea creatures judging from their latest god.)  But there was a look of shock on some of their faces when I said this, and some people began to whisper to each other. As I spoke, the small gathering turned into a large crowd. I warned them that if they didn’t change their evil ways, they would be subject to certain destruction.  "Forty more days and Nineveh will be overturned," (Jonah 3:4), I proclaimed.

Now, I thought, one of two things was about to take place. Either they were going to start rebuking me and hurling rocks, or they were going to yank me off of the stone and drag me through the streets, maybe throw me in jail, or worse.  I went on anyway and the longer I preached, the better I got. I sounded very convincing, even to myself. I looked at the people in the growing crowd; they seemed fascinated by what I was saying. Some that were walking up were pointing at me. I was commanding a lot more attention than I expected in this huge bustling city. All activity around the area had ceased. When I had finished I was soaked with perspiration and somewhat relieved. I climbed down and the people moved aside and let me pass through. As I passed by them, I noticed that they seemed disturbed; there was an eerie silence throughout. Some of them turned and hurried off, others just stood there and stared at me. I walked on, following one of the roads, not knowing where I was going. I just wanted to move through the city delivering the message.  Maybe I could get out in a day or two.  Some of the people followed me. Next I arrived at a busy section of the city where people were trading food and goods. I climbed up on a pile of grain sacks and began to speak.  I delivered the same message to a growing crowd, I felt inspired even though I didn’t want to be there. When I finished, I climbed down and started off. The people were silent again, the same reaction as before. Their faces looked serious and even frightened. As I was walking away, a man erupted behind me yelling something I did not understand. I turned and looked as he was tearing his robe. They must have taken the message seriously.  People were turning and walking away and as the crowd was dispersing some of them were tearing their clothes, possibly as a sign of despair. I wondered how God’s message could have had such an immediate impact on them. I moved on throughout the city, it was going to be a long day, but it seemed that the message was getting through to these Gentiles. But they would surely die anyway, I thought.

I awoke in the makeshift bed I had made that was mostly just a hollowed out place in the sand outside of the city. The morning sun was shinning right in my face as if to say ‘get up; there is more work to be done’.  As I entered the city gate again, some of the people I saw were wearing sackcloth. This was the custom when mourning or repenting. Could they be repenting? No way! A woman turned and ran away when she saw me. A filthy man wearing sackcloth scurried up to me out of nowhere. I stepped back thinking he was attacking me, instead he got on his knees and seemed to be bowing down to me. He mumbled something, and run off. This was very strange behavior even for these people, I thought.  As I made my way up the road to continue my quest, I came upon a large gathering of people.  Some of them were wearing sackcloth. As I got closer, they stopped talking and stared at me. I noticed a large man in the center of the group. He looked at me as if he had seen a ghost. His eyes followed me as I walked by, and then I recognized him. He was the sailor that had thrown me overboard the ship! This man and possibly others from that ship must have been from Nineveh, and no doubt had returned and told of their adventure at sea and how my God had been angry. There was loud whispering from the group. These people must have thought I was a spirit or something. Maybe this could be used to my advantage. Maybe it already had been. I continued on and made my way through the adjoining parts of the city, stopping and preaching the message to those who were around.  

          I stayed the second night within the confines of the city and awoke the next day to a commotion in the street. I went outside to see what was going on. It was apparently a messenger from the King. He was standing on a pedestal calling for people’s attention, and then he began reading aloud from a scroll, “By the decree of the king and his nobles: Do not let any man or beast, herd or flock, taste anything; do not let them eat or drink.  But let man and beast be covered with sackcloth. Let everyone call urgently on God. Let them give up their evil ways and their violence. Who knows? God may yet relent and with compassion turn from his fierce anger so that we will not perish." (Jonah 3:7-9).  After saying this, he went over and nailed the scroll to a tree.  I knew my business there was done. My message had made it all the way to the king.  It looked as though these people really wanted to repent of their ways! This made me very angry, in the back of my mind I had not wanted to be successful in brining them to repentance. And the message I was given told them that their city would fall because of their past transgressions, so I expected that to happen. It better happen. I knew it was wrong to want them to perish, but I did. And besides, if God did not destroy this city, I would be hunted down and killed for being a false prophet. I quickly left the city and began looking for a place to settle down and wait.

The sun was very hot and I couldn’t make much of a shelter for myself. I wondered if I could last forty days, the amount of time given the people by God. Would I last long enough to watch the awesome destruction of this Pagan city? I was located a good distance from the city, but was close enough to see it. There were no trees around and the wind was blowing sand in my face constantly. As time passed, it was becoming more and more miserable being out there exposed to the hot sun all day every day. I prayed to God day and night for comfort, but still I suffered. I felt horribly alone again. But I was determined to stay there until His wrath came upon Nineveh. As the days and weeks went by I stayed there, more and more determined.  I now scratched another mark on the large rock near my ‘bed’ signifying day number thirty eight in my wait. The next morning I awoke to a strange and unexpected site. A large vine of some sort had popped up near me and was leafing out. I wondered how it could be that this plant had grown up that fast. This was very odd. I covered my face with my shawl and headed into the city for food and water as I did about once a week.

As I was walking back, I noticed a tree in the distance. It was in the direction of my little ‘dwelling’. I knew I had never noticed it before, it stuck out like a sore thumb against the desert landscape. As I walked toward it, I realized that it was my plant that had grown up over night and was now the size of a small tree and had large leaves. This was very unusual, but I was very happy about it, I had shade! I dropped my basket of food, ran towards it and began dancing around it like a fool, singing. For the first time in weeks, I was actually happy.  I wrapped my arms around my little tree and hugged it. It was a good thing no one was around to see me; they would think that I truly had been in the desert heat too long. After all of this excitement I was exhausted, so I ate and laid down in the sand with a smile on my face, in total shade from the late afternoon sun. 

          After sleeping hard that night, I awoke the next morning starring up at the blue sky. I rose quickly, something was wrong. The large leafy ‘branches’ of my tree were drooping, there were leaves lying about on the ground. My mysterious tree was dying. After taking a closer look at the ‘trunk’ I noticed worm holes in it. ‘Where did a worm come from out here in the desert?’ I wondered. My tree, my salvation from the hot sun was barely a day old and it was dying!  I fell to my knees holding one of the leaves and screamed at the top of my lungs, then crumpled over in a heap, sobbing like a child. Why was this happening to me?  I cursed the tree, I cursed myself, and I prayed to God, who had been silent during my waiting, and asked WHY.  ‘Had he given me the tree?’ ‘And if so, why did he take it away?’ I wondered. I tied several of the withered leaves to my head with a strip of my clothing for protection from the sun. I was very angry and confused. The rest of my day was spent sitting there cursing everything in site. I was so upset I didn’t eat. At one point I spotted a worm at the base of the tree so I jumped up and stomped on it over and over until it was nothing but a wet spot in the sand. I sat down panting; this must have been the hottest day yet.  The sun was beating down on my head and the wind was blowing sand in my face again.  But I would not give up, according to my calendar rock, the next day made day number forty. The wrath of the Lord would soon be upon the city of Nineveh!

         Forty one days past, then forty two and three, still nothing happened to the great city. No flood, no storm, no fire, nothing.  I was feeling sick and faint from exposure; my tree was now not much more than a stick. I didn’t understand, I was sent to this city to preach against it and to warn the people of their impending doom, yet nothing was happening. The only one who was suffering was me. Why was I the one that was being tormented?  Had those people really repented in the eyes of the LORD?  Did he have pity on them? Had God changed his mind?  I was so bitter I just wanted to die.  I got on my knees next to the dead tree and prayed out loud, "O LORD, is this not what I said when I was still at home? That is why I was so quick to flee to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity. Now, O LORD, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live." (Jonah 4:2-3).  Suddenly I felt His presence, something I hadn’t felt in weeks.  And God replied to me, "Have you any right to be angry?" “Do you have a right to be angry about the vine?"  "I do," I said. "I am angry enough to die."  (Jonah 4:4,9).  But the LORD said, "You have been concerned about this vine, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. But Nineveh has more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left and many cattle as well. Should I not be concerned about that great city?" (Jonah 4:10-11).

Being overwhelmed by Him, I collapsed on the hot sand. It was clear what was transpiring. The LORD had observed those horrible people attempting to repent and had mercy on them. And who was I to argue with the creator of the universe?  I had done my part. It was all over for me. I laid down and covered my face with my hands.  I prayed for forgiveness, and I thanked the LORD for choosing me to do his work, even though I had been such a problem. I had failed him and yet succeeded in the mission. Thousands of people were being spared destruction because of me... even though I was just a tool.  As I was praying I fell into a deep sleep. I dreamed that I was walking across the desert, retracing my steps from weeks before, heading home.  Up ahead there was a man, dressed in a white robe, walking. 

I followed.